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Archive for the ‘Likeability’ Category
Tuesday, February 9th, 2010
In Credibility in the Courtroom: How Likeable Should an Expert Witness Be? (Brodsky, Cramer and Ziemke, 2009), we find an interesting definition of Likeability.
Authors identified the following list of verbal and nonverbal components associated with high likeability:
- a pleasant, smiling facial expression
- use of “we” or “us” when referring to groups
- demonstration of a less controlling attitude
- physical attractiveness
- use of deferential speech and considerate disagreement (as opposed to aggressive, defiant contradiction)
- low degree of arrogance exhibited in verbal responses (such as acknowledging potential for error)
- use of informal speech (such as referring to an individual by name and use of less technical jargon)
- direct eye contact
- truthfulness (suspicion of lying was negatively associated with likeability)
These are consistent with our research and writing for Axis of Influence, but help us better define what these verbal and non-verbal items look like. For example, we talk a lot in the book about the qualities of likeability – things like trustworthiness, focus on the other person versus focus on self, humility, etc.
It’s interesting that those coaching expert witnesses have them focus not only on things like eye contact and smiling, but also on likeable language – heavy use of the terms “we” and”us”, lack of arrogance as exhibited by acknowledging limited certainty or potential for error. A specific reference was made to the use of modest statements and conclusions (e.g. “we are relatively certain” or “we do not know everything”).
The concept of limited certainty would seem to go against what we believe to be most credible and illustrates the importance of the balance between likeability and credibility. In order to be believable, in order to influence or persuade, you must be both likeable and credible. An arrogant know-it-all may be credible, but without the likeable elements, he or she will not be effective.
Tags: how to be more likeable, qualities of likeability
Posted in Likeability | 1 Comment »
Sunday, December 20th, 2009
We (co-author Michael Lovas and I) have written quite a lot about first impressions. In particular the series of subconscious assessments that go on when we first meet someone. We know that the first thing that goes on is the “am I in danger?” assessment.
Every time a stranger looks at you, he or she makes a split-second determination as to whether you are friend or foe. Also among those split second assessments is an analysis of your attractiveness, likeability and credibility.
According to Princeton researcher and professor Alex Todorov, we are “hard wired” to quickly draw these inferences.
“The link between facial features and character may be tenuous at best, but that doesn’t stop our minds from sizing other people up at a glance. We decide very quickly whether a person possesses many of the traits we feel are important, such as likeability and competence, even though we have not exchanged a single word with them. It appears that we are hard-wired to draw these inferences in a fast, unreflective way.”
For more on first impressions, and in particular what people are “reading” to make these assessments, check out our book Axis of Influence – How Credibility and Likeability Intersect to Drive Success.
For more on Alex Todorov, check out All Things Considered, June 9, 2005 – Scientists Search for Winning Look. Forget political polls. Scientists usually can tell whether political candidates will win or lose by testing voters’ reactions to the contestants’ faces. A study in the journal Science shows that voters chose the face that looks more “competent.”
Professor Todorov’s Princeton Website
Posted in Credibility, First Impressions, Likeability, Trust | No Comments »
Thursday, August 13th, 2009
Both Likeability and Credibility begin with the other person’s first impression of you. The first impression is a mental activity that goes on behind the scenes in your old brain. This mental activity takes place in a split second and because the old brain doesn’t have a lot to go on, it uses your face, your demeanor, your clothes and other immediate impressions to decide whether or not you can be trusted.
We know from the research that trustworthiness is the first decision the old brain seeks out and that makes sense because remember the old brain is, well…. old. It’s still operating in a world where giant predators with enormous appetites were looking to snack on your body parts. Survival meant quickly being able to size up a situation and choose the appropriate response. Even though you’re not really operating in that world anymore, your old brain still thinks it is.
So in order to increase your credibility and likeability, you have to pay attention to the old brain and get through the trust gate. It’s a process – First I decide if I trust you, then I decide if I like you. If I like you, I’ll pay attention long enough to see if I find you credible. The more you can do in those first few seconds to enable the other person to trust you, the better the odds you’ll make it through the likeability and credibility gates.
Tags: Credibility, first impression, Trust, trustworthiness
Posted in Credibility, First Impressions, Likeability, Trust | No Comments »
Monday, July 27th, 2009
Humans hurt their credibility in the most innocent way. It starts when you make the decision that you want something. That single determination gives you a psychological agenda and focus. Thus, when you see an example of what you want, your non-verbal behavior changes. You show greater interest. For example, you’ll salivate, your eyes widen, your torso leans forward and your breathing speeds up. And, when you see something that falls outside the category of what you want, your non-verbal behavior changes in a different way. Your eyes look away, your torso leans backwards, you check your watch, your mouth shows boredom or contempt.
When those non-verbal messages are received by another person, that person gains the right to interpret them in any way that’s appropriate for that person. If he/she interprets your facial expression (for example) as negative, you just lost both likeability and credibility. It’s just that simple
What does all of this mean? It means that you need to learn what those non-verbals feel like when you’re doing them. That’s the first step in controlling your non-verbal behavior. The consistency (or congruence) of all your modes of communication make it possible for someone else to perceive you as being likeable and credible. But, inconsistency (incongruence) will most likely cause people to perceive you as fake, hiding something, unethical – or worse.
So, what does your face say when you first meet a stranger?
– Michael Lovas
Tags: Likeability, Psychology, Reading People
Posted in Credibility, Likeability, Psychology, Reading People | No Comments »
Monday, July 6th, 2009
What does selling have to do with credibility and/or likeability? If you fail to gain credibility and likeability, you will likely NOT make any sales to that person. Consider that all of your professional activities are actually efforts to become more likeable and prove your credibility. Assuming that’s true, then what (specifically) are you doing to achieve those two trophies? In your defense, most people are doing nothing. That doesn’t eliminate the need, it just makes success easier for professionals who take this seriously! What to do? Learn the specific skills and tools that increase your credibility and likeability. Learn how to use psychology more effectively in your presentations and marketing. Get better. Visit our book store: www.aboutpeople.com
– Michael Lovas
Tags: Credibility, Likeability, Psychology, Selling
Posted in Credibility, Credibility Marketing, Likeability | No Comments »
Saturday, June 27th, 2009
We know from the research that the way we talk (speed, pauses, pronunciation, volume, etc.) triggers certain judgements about our Credibility. It seems that we humans have an innate competence detector. Research by Brandeis University Professor Leslie Zebrowitz suggests that “strangers can judge intelligence at levels significantly better than chance from bried exposures to a target’s face, voice and other non-verbal cues.”
Work by University of Victoria researchers Reynolds and Gifford suggests that auditory cues are more strongly related to intelligence than visual ones. Reynolds and Gifford found that the following speaking styles are interpreted as higher intelligence:
- Less halting speech
- More standard use of language
- Speaking more words
- Speaking each word clearly
- Speaking faster
What does this mean? If you are excellent at thinking on your feet, then you are likely not much affected by it. However, if you’re like most of us, when you have to think on your feet your mouth has to wait for your brain to catch up and give direction. Thus, your delivery is peppered with halting stutters and stammers. Listeners perceive such a delivery as evidence that you lack a certain amount of mental snap.
How can you use it? Prepare. When you are prepared you can improvise more easily and deliver powerful answers in a convincing style. Practice. The more you practice delivering, the more natural and fluid your delivery will become.
Tags: Credibility, Likeability, Trust
Posted in Credibility, Credibility Marketing, Likeability, Psychology, Trust | No Comments »
Sunday, April 12th, 2009
Credibility is elusive. Few people understand it. Very few people can even describe it.
We’ve been working with Credibility since 1991. Actually, I started to think about it as early as 1986. Point is, we know it inside and out. We know what it is, what causes it and what the results are. Here is our working definition:
Credibility is a combination of concepts:
Competence + Character + Consistency+Relevance.
Together, they enable a belief in the minds of your target market that you understand their situation, have their best interest at heart, are an expert at solving their specific problems, and will do so without robbing them.
That definition is nteresting and important, but not implementable. See how that definition contains nothing you can implement today? In practical terms, the first step to improve your Credibility is to improve your Likeability, and the first step in that is to learn how to read people.
Where can you go to learn that? Easy, look at our book Face Values. It is the most effective resource for business professionals wanting to improve likeability.
If you find this tid bit of wisdom interesting, you’ll find our books astounding! You can find them on the Shop page at: http://www.aboutpeople.com/
– Michael Lovas
Tags: Behavior, Business Communication, Credibility, Likeability, Psychology, Reading People, Trust
Posted in Attractiveness, Credibility, Likeability, Psychology, Reading People | No Comments »
Sunday, April 12th, 2009
One of the things we learned when researching Likeability is that there are five basic truths. We refer to these as the Likeability Principles. They are:
- We like people who are similar to us in some way (Similarity)
- We like people who are familiar to us (Familiarity)
- We like people who like us (Reciprocity).
- We like people who are genuinely interested in us (Interest)
- We like people who are easy to like (i.e. demonstrate the qualities of likeability: empathetic, trustworthy, positive, non-judgemental, real).
Tags: Credibility, Likeability, Trust
Posted in Likeability | No Comments »
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